If you're in a Where where all the Whos are doofuses, then you, too, will turn into a doofus.
-Me, later in this blog

My existence has been a roughly stitched tapestry of failures and moderate successes (ultimately overridden by waywardness). A jaggedly-smooth path that has led to an intriguing theory.

The ordering of the famous "5 Ws," ubiquitous from coast to coast and with no generational bounds, used in grade schools to teach introductory English...

is actually a way to navigate life.

Of course the education system doesn't teach "The 5 Ws" in that way ("they" would never allow schooling to be so elucidating).

But I'll attempt to.

I propose: "The 5 Ws" is actually listed in order of importance. Not just for writing. But also for life (imitates art[writing]).

"Who

you surround yourself with matters" is a buzzphrase that's not entirely accurate.

"Who" doesn't necessarily mean physical presence. It means who you exchange mental, spiritual, and emotional energy with... and to what degree. You can be surrounded by people physically, even family, but completely shut off if they're not serving you positively.

In other words, learn from your relationship mistakes. Even if the other person wronged you or made your life hell, because you won't get anywhere by maintaining a grudge.

I'm no guru, but I'll tell you a buzzphrase that is correct in this circumstance: look inward. This is an ideal response to a) evolve (improve to get better things in life) b) get "revenge" in a way that is a natural byproduct of mostly or entirely ignoring the wrongdoer.

Who

do we choose to form or maintain relationships with, then? We can all only answer this based on personal goals and the direction we want to go in life. But if you're reading this blog I take it you want to do cool shit. If that's the case, here's a general guideline:

Energy, ethics, decency, vibe, shared vision, and type of humor > politics and religion any day of the week.

A good starting point to decide: does this individual put the shopping cart back in the corral or let it sit where they last used it in the parking lot?

Choose wisely.

What

is the second most important W (if not tied with Who). It's the transitive W. The action W. The Verb W. The doing W.

What you do follows you no matter who you have a relationship with or where you go. You're either progressing or regressing through your What.

So, what are you doing?

Treating yourself like shit? Dieting like you've been talking about doing for weeks (months)? Doing that running plan? That business you've always dreamed of?

Or is your What paralyzed by any of the other Ws? If it is, clear the slate, be decisive, and do WHAT it is you want to do, regardless of any of the other Ws.

If the Who is the King on the chess board, the What is the Queen.

When

should matter less. And I wish it did. Time is a son of a bitch, and it keeps getting faster and faster.

But as they say, "timing is everything." Another buzzphrase that holds true.

We can look no further than the acting world to know this.

Talent is not the most important factor.

Landing a role is about Who (#1) you know, What (#2) problem you're solving for the casting director / production, and WHEN (#3) you're able to solve that problem.

Wait did I say acting... hell, the above is true for everything in life. The acting world is just what I'm familiar with.

Here's a fun example that I know well to get the point across.

Let's say you're entering a foreign country, and at immigration, the border patrol agent just found out their spouse cheated on them the day before. Then they see your ass traipsing into their country... fearfully mumbling your purpose of stay in English, ignoring their mother tongue. In an endless line of others doing the same.

Yea, you're gonna be asked more questions than the doofus in the booth next of you with an agent who just put in their two weeks.

Where

is the W I'm the most enamored with as a serial traveler. It can be advantageous if used correctly. Or disadvantageous if abused (I've abused it and am now correcting course).

"Where" is the interplay W. It is important because it enhances or detracts from the other Ws in a way that can really move the needle.

If you're in a Where where all the Whos are doofuses, then you, too, will turn into a doofus.

Here's a short anecdote of mine to help illustrate the picture.

When I lived in South Korea from ~2019-2022, this Where introduced me to one of the more interesting people I've met to date.

I was out being a bad little rebellious foreigner, partying in the streets of Hongdae after the country shut down at 9pm (because apparently the virus only started spreading at 9pm.)

I was rolling away with my 따릉이 (Ddareungi) bike (Seoul's public bicycle system) like a total badass when I literally crossed paths with him as the crowd was dispersing. Small convo about the public bike system entailed. Then he asked me to come to a small after-after party he was throwing at his Air BnB.

Had it not been for this "double Where," I would have never met my occasional friend/acquaintance who influenced me to a) become my own technical co-founder. b) to ruthlessly DO. And c) Make this website and blog in the way that it is (clearly inspired by his).

He's not the only one, though.

My Wheres have introduced me to many many Whos.

Probably one of the best things about traveling.

Remind me to contact the Polish street artist who I met while living in Poland last March. I promised to commission him to do book covers for my audiobook production company. (link won't work for now. Launch Feb.)

But as mentioned... my waywardness has gotten out of control. In order to enhance my What, I need to reel it in and establish a base somewhere, be it in the USA or abroad. I would love to keep traveling but not at the expense of my What.

Why

can get in the way of all the other Ws. I believe it's last because... in order to take action, it isn't explicitly needed. If I find myself asking Why too much, it paralyzes me. That said, it does have utility and an essential function. If I don't ask why at all, well, then... I'm probably just following orders.

Here's a good test: am I asking Why of what I want of myself or of what others want from me?

So maybe this can help you.

If you're asking why of yourself too much (unneeded permission), this can be problematic. You have permission to do whatever the fuck you want to do.

If you're not asking why enough of others (people pleasing), this can also be problematic.

And sometimes how

Part of me thinks it should be "Who, What, When, Where, How... and sometimes why.

But poor how. Always left out in the distant right margins.

Maybe why is like the architect. "This is why the building needs to look this way. And this is why it needs to go here."

The How is the engineer. The logician. How will this beautiful building be safe, strong, and sturdy for decades?

So it's definitely needed.

Every single one of the Ws depends on the logic. On the... well... HOW to get things done.

• How will I meet and foster relationships with my people?
• How will I get what I want through the best course of action?
• How will I increase the chances of the best timing for my goals?
• How will I choose the right place(s) that will only enhance my goal and life?
• How will I ensure that I am asking why of the right people and at the right time?

The new phrase

"Who, What, When, Where, Why... and always How."